Being Heard

The old adage of children should be seen and not heard hails from the Victorian era and at times is still thrown around today. However; this saying is somewhat problematic and conflicts with the ideology of the Early Years Learning Framework for Australia, which promotes belonging, being and becoming (Page 7, The Early Years Learning Framework for Australia)

According to Maggie Dent – parenting author, educator and speaker – being heard may be one of our most important human needs.  Being heard from a young age means children feel connected and safe. The need to belong is the first fundamental need we have as humans as we are a social being; as a result, being listened to is a valuable pathway to meeting that core need.

Giving children a voice promotes their self-esteem and self-worth. We can make children feel heard by giving them a voice through asking for and listening to their:

• Choices
• Opinions
• feelings and emotions.

Through these actions’ children recognise that they are important and valued. Feeling valued plays, a large role in how a child learns. In order for them to play and explore, actively learn and critically think the need to feel confident in their environment and have the knowledge that their voice and way of explorations will be noted. 

There are many ways early childhood educators give young learners show they can express their individuality and needs: 

Including children’s interests in planned learning 

Celebrating all religions/cultures – this shows children that they are valued and that they can express their thoughts/feelings about who they are and what they believe in as well as providing them the opportunity to learn about other cultures and traditions

Well-resourced learning and play areas which enables children to express their interests and to have a voice through choice.

Being active listeners where we pay attention to and ask questions about what the children are sharing with us. By responding positively with the information, they share to show that we are really tune into the child’s voice

Being heard, especially non-judgementally, has such an incredibly powerful potential to bring hope and joy to others. One of the key things to remember about giving others this golden opportunity is that we must learn to really listen. 

Being heard begins at birth and it evolves of course as children develop. Much of toddler behaviour is a form of communication. Research shows that the more connected and loved children feel, the more likely they will not need to display distress through screaming, meltdowns or tantrums. However, these displays of big ugly feelings are totally normal developmentally. Underneath them is a call for help as they are struggling to cope with their world.

Rather than try and stop big ugly feelings or fix them, we focus on how we can help them make sense of the experience they are having, without judgement.

All of these different ways to connect with our young learners are opportunities to strengthen their individuality and validate their sense of belonging that is essential for wellbeing and happiness.